- Pat Robertson: Disobedient Wives ‘Must be Spanked’
- Kardashian Child Hailed as the Second Coming
- Satan ‘Totally Blindsided’ by Murdoch Divorce
Wife Leaves Him After Finding Pentagram
- BREAKING: ‘Game of Thrones’ Author Announces Next Book
- Director of ‘The Internship’ Fires Intern
- Grown Adults Apparently Shocked by Completely Made Up Thing That Never Actually Happened
- Michael Douglas Records PSA on the Dangers of Cunnilingus
- Will Smith Tells Son Jaden: ‘This is All Your Fault’
- This Week in Irony
- Hollywood Celebrities Prepping for Upcoming Roles as L.A. Kings Fans
- Rodin To Perdition
- Gary Busey Has Preemptive Frontal Lobotomy
- Men Camping Outside Movie Theaters for Tickets to New French Lesbian Love Film
- Report: Texting While Driving Okay If You Look Up Every Couple of Seconds
- Angelina Jolie to Remove Pancreas, Skin, Bones
- GPS Collars Reveal Cats Head Straight to Cat Pub
- BREAKING: 5 Dead, 12 Wounded in Mass Cliche’
- Russia Offers Edward Snowden Pussy Riot’s Former Apartment
- You Are a Terrorist
- Study: Women Who Throw Up Breakfast Lose More Weight
- Drive-Thru Funeral Home a Source of Community Pride for Compton Residents
- New Study Finds It Is Impossible to Lose Weight
- Texas Jury Says Killing Hookers Okay, as Long as it’s Nighttime
- Report: Designer #Hashtags the Latest Trend in Trending
- Satire Is Dead
- Women Banned at 2014 Miss World Competition to be Held in Saudi Arabia
- Michigan Man Starves to Death After Following One Too Many Food Safety Studies
- Lonely Old Woman Adopted by Thirty-Six Cats
- Windows 8 to Reintroduce Annoying Paperclip Helper
- Report: Moths Struggling with Light Addiction
- U.S. Glad to be Arming Next Generation of Enemies
- Report: New Iranian President Really Impressed with Country’s Nuclear Arms Program
- White House Performs the Syrian Switcheroo to Misdirect Masses from Spying Scandal
‘And now for our next trick… WWIII’
- Terrorists Worldwide Giving Up Facebook in Wake of Spying Scandal
- NSA Assures Americans That PRISM 2.0 Will Be Way More Invasive
- White House: ‘If Everyone is Being Spied On, Then No One is Being Spied On’
- IRS Accused of Extorting Millions from Working-Class Americans
- Report: Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize Medal For Sale on eBay
- NSA Enforces Zero-Tolerance Policy on Conscience
- Afghan ‘Game of Thrones’ Fans Stage Real-Life Wedding Massacre
- Obama Pens Letter to Verizon Customers
- Verizon Customer Dick Cheney Slams Obama’s Phone Spying
- Issa Demands Hearings Into Why No One Listens To Him
- Claim: Eric Holder Reportedly Loaded iPod with AP Phone Conversations
- U.S. Defense Network Disabled by ‘Suxnet’ Virus
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- The Net’s Best Satire, Vol. 1
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